Birth Story of the Week- Caitlin + Bruno

This week Caitlin shares her experience of the day her son Bruno arrived. 
A very candid view of when your birth plan takes a detour but in the journey you realize what an absolute warrior you are! Thank you for your submission 
and for choosing me to be your doula!!

******************************************************************************

It started at 5:00 a.m. My water broke…slowly and I really wasn’t even sure if it was my water. I shone my phone into Cody’s face to wake him up lol. It was August 8th, one day before my EDD. Was this actually happening I thought to myself!? It can’t be! Only 5% of babies arrive on their due date and this was so close to mine! I called our midwife and 20 minutes later she was at the house. She checked to see if my water broke and she really wasn’t sure either. We waited in my bedroom a little while longer as I repeatedly said” I swear I’m not peeing my pants!!!!!!!” By 6:30 or so we all knew it was my water breaking. We started the anti-biotics as our midwife made a makeshift IV station with a hanger in my room. It looked pretty awesome. But then the reality set in that I needed to go into labour ASAP or else I wasn’t having the home birth I had so prepared myself for. I stood in my doorway and had a good cry as she sat on my bed looking at me with empathetic eyes and reassured me it would all he alright. That is when I wiped my tears away and we started the pumping, the bouncing, the phone calls at 7:00 a.m looking for CASTOR OIL. Sure enough Cody found some at Zehr’s and I did a few shots of it! Right after that I put on my dress and started walking/running up and down Front Street to kick labour into gear. I WAS having a baby that day! We checked in with our midwife every hour…unfortunately always to report that contractions had yet to start. 

By 10:00 I needed the help of my doula, Falon. I called her and she brought muffins and bagels to the scene right away. She had a different approach than the hardcore labour inducing methods I was trying. She rubbed my feet with her essential oils as Cody and Sweetpea laid beside me in my bed with the blinds drawn. I had a great time but of course no labour. At 2:00 we met our midwife up at this hospital where she had my blood tested for signs of infection. NEGATIVE! Woohooo! In my mind this meant I still had a chance of going into labour. With some gentle persuasion our midwife had the oncall OB talk to me about the possibility of induction (my worst nightmare). I cried through his entire speech as it meant I had to let go of my home/natural birth dreams. After the conversation we came to the conclusion that our goal was now to avoid a c section vs. have a home birth. Anything but a c section I thought to myself! I had been lucky enough to forgo stretch marks, I wasn’t ending up with a scar if I didn’t need to. 

So home we went and packed up our bags and had our last meal alone in the house as a couple. Two veggie dogs hehe. It was the most surreal feeling leaving our home for the last time to know that we would never be a couple again. We would return as a family. I was sort of brave but also scared shitless. Falon met us at the house and then followed behind us to the hospital. I remember standing in the parking lot as everyone unloaded their cars. Falon had bags and balls and other things while Cody had my 4 pillows and 2 suitcases (haha!) I felt like I was opting to be pushed off a cliff and the only way to save myself would be to fight tooth and nail to climb to the top. I was so scared to have an induced labour because I felt like I had lost control and my body would be at the mercy of the nurses and their oxytocin.When I got to the hospital they pretty well hooked me up to the IV right away. Our other midwife came in and gave me a big hug. She apologized as she knew my plans were for a home birth. I Cried again.

Off to the races, the drugs had started to drip and I got into my nightie I would be in for the next 4 hours. When the contractions started I was on the floor watching titanic with a reassuring Falon and a supportive Cody. It started to get real uncomfortable and I knew it was just going to get worse. I thought to myself how the FUCK am I going to do this? Then by the grace of god I asked for my iPod! The first song that came on was Celine Dion’s “It’s all coming back to me”. So powerful! I leaned over the bed and closed my eyes. For the next 5 hours the music took me away and let me focus on labour. I remember I had to be In constant motion with my hips, I was always swaying or rocking with my music blasting. 2 other songs that I remember coming on are “Temperature” by Sean Paul as Cody was tapping to the beat on my arms with me. The next was “loose yourself” by Eminem. The song was so relevant to my situation and had the power I needed to uplift me. YOU ONLY HAVE ONCE SHOT, DO NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE TO BLOW THIS OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFE TIME, HERE IT GOES! 

That was so labour, you had one shot to birth the way you want, don’t mess it up. Get that baby down and OUT. So anyways, I am nearing the end of my labour (I wasn’t aware) and said I wanted to get into the tub. I hopped in with my nightie and my ipod. It started to feel different, the baby was coming down. Our midwife looked at me faced to face and told me to sing. So that is what I did! I am sure it helped for a bit. That is when I said LAUGHING GAS!! I remember everyone in the room said yes! So quickly I felt like royalty when they were like of course, of course, let me help you! So good. I hobbled over to the bed in my hospital gown which I am pretty sure came off at some point when I was pushing. I got into the bed and instinctively sat up with my arms over the back of the bed. “You are 10cm and can start pushing now Caitlin” said our midwife. It's happening!!! I thought to myself. This is actually the end…for the first time it felt so real, I was birthing a BABY! 

Pushing sucked. I could feel my pelvis stretching apart to accommodate the little baby to help him on his way out. I was hesitating to push until our midwife got down with me face to face and said “ The longer you wait the longer you will be in pain, you need to bear down and count to 8 with me” She was serious and that is what I needed. I was between a rock and a hard spot. Pushing hurt but not pushing hurt…the baby had to come out some time and he sure as hell wasn’t coming out via c section after all my efforts! I pushed like crazy and sure enough his little head was on its way down! Our midwife asked me if I wanted to feel it so I did. Instead of it being motivational it was like holy SHIT hooooooow is this going to fit it is going to HURT!. But what do ya do? 

A short time later his head was out and people started to get excited. Another push and I felt the body come out and next thing I know he was being passed through my legs and he was on my tummy. That is when I huffed on the gas and for the first time in 5 hours I layed on my back. I freaking did IT it was OVER! He got dried off shortly after and they clamped the cord and shot me with more oxytocin to get the placenta out as I bled a little more than expected. I remember him crying and I was too, I was shaking and I couldn’t even believe my marathon had abruptly come to an end. 

I told him” I know it was so bad wasn’t it? It was so so bad, I know”! At that point I felt traumatized. It was probably the most painful thing I had ever experienced and in that moment I knew it was over and we were both safe. Thank god. He cried and cried…and then he took in a deep breath that sounds like two breaths. I made note of it and Cody and I thought it was so sweet. The midwives and Falon stayed for maybe another hour or so and let me know I could go home or stay in the hospital. I definitely decided to stay because walking was too painful. The next day at 5:00 is when I left for home with my new little family. 

The love I have for Bruno today is incredibly strong. It is such an amazing feeling to love someone so much and think he is just the best thing in the world. He is so beautiful and I love the way he laughs, smiles and anything else he does. He is perfection! In the end, I think of my birth as truly the best experience of my life as I felt so strong and accomplished. I am so proud of myself for going at it naturally and experiencing the birth as it should be. I am so proud of my body for conceiving him, growing him, birthing him and continuing to grow him. Not to mention my body is almost the same as pre Bruno. Giving birth I feel like has turned me into a warrior and I know I can accomplish anything with determination now. I pushed myself physically and mentally and I didn’t give up. I had a wonderful birth team and Cody was by myside the entire time. Would I do it again? At this time, definitely not. But if we do decide to have another baby one day, I know how hardcore labour is and with enough determination I will be able to birth again, but definitely not anytime soon!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited to be sharing Birth Story of the Week as a regular feature! 
This project is about bringing our stories together and providing a wonderful resource for new and expecting families in our community. All births are wonderful and should be celebrated, no matter what type of birth (home, hospital, midwife/ OB, doula supported or not) if you would like to share your birth story please email it to info@nestedbirth.com a photo or two would also be great.

Stories will be featured on my social media platforms and blog. My hope is that we can educate families on the options available in our community, provide healing and empowerment through sharing and of course CONNECTION.